I cant fucking think straight, its just getting at me so bad and just bringing me to the point where i just break. i need to sjefhdyvusbd i dont fucking know,whatever.
Why am i crying? Im not supposed to cry, im not supposed to care.
I wanted to be with you but you said you were fine without me so go be fine, then this shit about how much you want and love me and want to be with me yet the post before that says dont be mad when someone else starts to appreciate the person you took for granted you had your chances and blew it? Then go appreciate more people, i dont care ahah, then you act like a bitch and say how ill regret leaving you and will never find someone like you, and thats why im not talking to you right now. Im just sick of the bullshit and you not knowing what you want so were not together.
Great, today i lost everything that meant everything to me. This girl ashley, ive been with her 9 months and today april 10th it ended. To be honest i dont know how to react to it, i dont know whether to punch a wall, to cry, to cut myself, to sit and pout, to lash out at everyone around me, so i just sit here…..emotionless. Thats all i can really do anymore, have no emotions. She caused all my emotions to go wild; happiness, love, joy, fear, anger, depression, bitterness, giddyness. Now that shes gone, its like im gone. I lost a chunk of myself. And ill never regain it back this i know. She honestly made me so happy even when i was so unhappy, i wouldntve traded her for the world but the world traded me i suppose. Ah, it sucks i know, but the only thing i can do now is just go on with my life, no ill never forget or stop loving her. Ill always be in love but i guess i just need time for myself now to better myself for the next person, whether it be her or someone else, if its someone else i cant see that happening for a while. I dont want anyone else, only her. Ill just go on as an empty shell. I love you ashley.
You dont care, and it really fucking hurts. After 9 months of putting up with this bullshit i still love you more than ever, every day i grow more and more love for you even though youre a cunt 90% of the time. But ill admit im a fucking prick 90% of the time too. Idk, its just obvious that youre giving up and want other guys and stuff so why should i stand in your way. I know were forever arguing but we could always not. You just act like such a bitch for no reason, like the reasons i overthink are obvious then you do stuff that makes me overthink even more, then when im upset over it you just get pissed off and be a cunt, thats not being a good girlfriend. Youre supposed to help me not reject me, whenever youre upset yeah i get mad but even though i still try to help you and tell you how much i love you and only want you and everything, you never seem to… you never seem to care is all. I truly believe that you dont want me/want other guys and dont care, may or may not be true but its what i believe. Ill be the first to admit we have a really shitty fucking relationship, but things could always get better, youre just not willing to not be a bitch and work with me. Im willing to, shit just gets in the way, im always getting mad over something and shit and im sorry but youre no help to it either because youre always the cause. I still love you though and id still do anything for you. I hate how you think i dont want to be with you, i do, im trying, youre just rejecting it all and not caring. For 9 months ive been in love with you. ALL i want is to be with you and be happy and to have a good relationship. But its obvious that you dont, so i dont know if were dating or not but whatever. Clear that up with me and tell me what you want, cause if you want me to leave i will. But i dont know why im writing this or what im saying in this my mind is just running crazy. I cant decide my emotions and yeah, this is all just like flowing to me. Because when i try to think of what to say or how ifeel my mind literally goes asfnmaslgfnasfgjnasfmaf. And it fucking sucks. I only want you and to be with you but if you want otherwise, so be it. Im sorry..wu4hjta9tjg9bgjtmnvsudnv 4uhect97wn4tcy34ryx93ry3r
yeoooo cutting on easter
#yolo
I guess im just not cut out for happiness, it seems like everybody leaves at one point or another.
